:/

2009-10-17T16:37:00.001+08:00

mm, i like.

2009-10-02T19:09:00.001+08:00

my sister is so critical about life.

2009-09-24T16:42:00.003+08:00

fall pretty birds;

from makeshift cardboard office buildings.

2009-09-21T17:46:00.006+08:00

do you remember the promises? how we'd jump off the wooden bridge without a care for the world, trusting our linked hands would keep us safe. sandbox castles built in the sky, it was so easy with you by my side. but now things have changed. you moved away. you ask how this place is treating me, i reply not so well.

2009-09-07T09:46:00.002+08:00

tick tock.

dont you just hate it when people dont respect boundaries?

when they just disregard every rule set in the history of best friends?

simple things: dont lie, dont cheat on friends, best friends ex boyfriends are off limits.

most importantly of all, dont cross bitches.

cos you know theyll bite back.

why do people just screw their lives?

is it because they come from broken families?

so much so that they have to lie about the death of their father?

ha, in your fairytale world, go ahead.

but dont mess up my life will you fucktard?

but hey, ultimately, its your life.

if you want to make out with guys who need braces (and have them),

guys who are total bastards, guys who cheat on their girlfriends,

by all means go ahead.

when you end up a single mom,

living on welfare checks, haha.

2009-09-04T23:53:00.004+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IrHee0ih_4&feature=fvst

I watched my dad walk out the door,
Shattering my world behind,
I knew Id never see him again,
And it hurt so much inside,
Yelled at the sky,
Why is it this way?
look at myself I just cant get straight,
My life is so hazy,I even lost my baby,
My soul is yearning and I just need to change,
Too many chances and I blew it,
So hungry and I have no one,
And I just keep hanging on,
And I just keep hanging on,
And I just keep hanging on,

Never gonna give up,
I live my life,
Feel better each and every day,
Im not gonna quit so there
Sick of this Shit so there

Never gonna give up,
I live my life,
Feel better each and every day,
yea,
Everythings gonna be okay,
yea,
Everythings gonna be okay

In my tub I just want to end,
All I really feel is pain,
My life is crap I got nothing to lose,
And everything to gain,
So alone no one even sees me,
No job to free the debts I achieved,
Just feel like Im losing,
My heart just keeps on bruising,
My futures blurring and I gotta think quickly,
Why now he doesnt deserve this,
I am gonna go crazy soon,
And I just keep hanging on,
Please keep hanging on,
Please keep hanging on,

Never gonna give up,
I live my life,
Feel better each and every day,
Im not gonna quit so there
Sick of this Shit so there
Never gonna give up,
I live my life,
Feel better each and every day,
yea,
Everythings gonna be okay,
yea,
Everythings gonna be okay

Even if u wanna cry,
Gonna be better just take the ride,
Something tells me youll be fine,
The strength inside you is gonna shine

Never gonna give up,
I live my life,
Feel better each and every day,
Im not gonna quit so there
Sick of this Shit so there
Never gonna give up,
I live my life,
Feel better each and every day,
yea,
Everythings gonna be okay,
yea,
Everythings gonna be okay
Never gonna give up,
I live my life,
Feel better each and every day,
Im not gonna quit so there
Sick of this Shit so there
Never gonna give up,
I live my life,
Feel better each and every day,
yea,
Everythings gonna be okay,
yea,
Everythings gonna be okay.

this is by far the saddest song ever. but at the same time, it gives me hope. ive been thinking, people always assume alot of things about me: that girls crazy, she has add, shes some weirdo who wont shut up. then again, shes up for anything, her self esteem is so high, she'll excel in everything. i hate expectations of me, assumptions too, because they put alot of pressure on. over the years, i really think that people dont know me as well as they like to think. even best friends who think i reveal all, theres still alot of things i keep to myself. theres even more about myself i dont know about. but something i do know for a fact, life can be the bitch from hell, and sometimes, you just cant outbitch her.

2009-08-16T18:04:00.003+08:00

do not trouble yourself with worry, sweet child.

for tomorrow's dawn will always come.

it will melt away the frost of yesteday's storm,

give hope to those who have lost their way in the night.

good morrow to you, good morrow once again.

the light has come, the dragons of fire slain.

knights have had their fill of their paramours,
until the days desire have them knocking again at the door.
so hush my ward, my pretty little thing.
sleep, and awaken when the mockingbirds sing.

i am so sorry, im still caught up with tkam, hence the last line.

2009-08-07T14:18:00.002+08:00

so far, life has been good (: cant complain. common tests are next week, but im actually studying, apart fromt he fact i played sims 3 the whole day yest. oops. but nonetheless, im pretty satisfied with life. i sort of made a promise to myself i wont screw up anymore, so im kinda new to this whole studying thing. yeah i know, wth right? but still, im taking a trip down determination lane. and this time, no motherfuckers gonna get in my way(:

2009-07-22T09:03:00.003+08:00

ok, its chemistry now, and we are all in the com lab. its really fun, miss oh let us search the eclipse on the web. and of course, being me, me hands and fingers strayed to the letters: f-a-c-e-b-o-o-k and t-w-i-t-t-e-r and m-y-s-p-a-c-e and b-l-o-g-g-e-r. isnt chemistry fun? im copying off rachel's paper instead of doing my worksheet. haha rachel: chem nerd. she's giving the what the hell are you doing face, its rather funny and comical really (: how i wish i was in london or new zealand. no idea why, just wish. i suppose its cos of the weather. its so cold and nice, it reminds me of new zealand, and daniel is going on and on about how living in london is the bomb, so yeah. i do wish i lived in london with him, or in nz with vic (:

ive got not much to say. i read through my fuzzies again yesterday. they make me feel all smiles inside ((((((((:

total eclipse of the heart. now where did THAT come from???

2009-07-05T23:56:00.002+08:00

ah, here we go again. im starting to get that feeling, you know the one where you just think all the guys you know are just repulsive? and its the one feelign that makes you go, oh fuck why cant i be in america or somewhere else where the guys are sooo much better? yeah. thats the one im feeling right now. but of course there are some guys who are fine (: not forgetting all the idiots who make me laugh: js, jer, chris, rich, and others whom i cant blow off at the top of my mind. but yes, that feeling has overcome me again, oh such joy (: ive officially decided to go on a boy fast, not that i was ever on guys in the first place, but oh well. from now onwards, the only guys youll hear me talking about is shane, matt, nolan, destery(who is a fucking genius), and my dad. yeah probably.

yest i went to naime's birthday chalet. ah, it was awesome. ive never seen so many tats in my life. went with ger, cyn, kc, cyn, ryl, lj, ainsley and sam. omg we just gorged ourselves on nuggets! and popcorn chicken (: and after we played indian poker, but after a while, it got stale, bc sam actually enjoyed the punishment, so called. oh and yay for kc. taptaprevenge2 on kcs phone is the love. so after sam sent me home, haha HILARIOUS I SWEAR. but hey, all's well that ends well right.

oooh im really excited, its youth day tmr, and im totally going to sleep late. AGAIN. like srsly, how many time am i going to sleep in, just to realise i have a ton of homework to do. gah, hatesss.

random fact: I HATE MILEY CYRUS. sorry shab. i just do.

2009-06-30T23:59:00.002+08:00

did you ever get that feeling, that maybe, just maybe, things werent meant ot be this way?

im starting to get a feeling of nostalgia. the aching inside for things to be what it was. i miss camp, i miss the people in camp, i miss the whole atmosphere of being there, together with everyone. i really miss the friendships, the meals together, the laughs, the tears, the prayers, spoken and unspoken. even now, thinking back to the camp, im starting to tear up. everything, everyone, was so in tune with each other, no distractions of the outside world. but now, everyone is back to their usual routine, friendships, "for life", - forgotten. ill admit, i really really miss camp. everything in the world is changing so fast, ive just lost the piece of ground ive gained. relationships change, friendships fade, love for God - pushed away by school and excuses. most of all, i miss the conventionality of life. "conventionality is the stagnation of the mind", its written. but honestly, conventionality isnt just that, its knowing you have friends to fall back on, knowing your parents love you no matter what, its the feeling of being safe. and i dont see anything wrong with that. sure, life takes you on wild rides sometimes, but being conventional helps the emotional roller coaster. without it, its like going on a loop-de-loop, without a seat belt. you hold on for your dear life, but sometimes, youre hands get sweaty, and you fall. friends act as seat belts, but they sometimes can faulter too. being in camp, surrounded by all that love, all that support for one another, all the prayers lifted up, it made me feel as though my roller coaster was totally covered with a protective ceiling. it made me feel safe, safer than anything else could make me feel.

youre hands get sweaty, and you fall.

2009-06-28T14:27:00.002+08:00

yes indeed.

i do say yes indeed, to whatever may come my way this term. be it teachers who are entirely incapable of speaking out of a monotone, be it sweaty pe lessons, be it hard friendships. im ready, because i know whatever i do, ill have my friends behind me every step of the way. hardships and troubled times dont mean anything when youve got great friends, which im so lucky to have. id like to just give a shout out to all my great friends out there, vina, alvina, shab, ruth, pris, clara, nik, chin, sarah, eunice, rachel, charm, steph, sam lye, drey, and all you who think you deserve to be on this list, leave a tag saying why!

special shout out to kevin, thanks for helping me with math dear!

2009-06-21T18:25:00.002+08:00

iMUN 09 was AMAZING. the best. the ultimate of the ultimate. loads of new friends, loads of laughs, loads and loads of UNGLAM PHOTOS! for one, the delegate of mexico believes that JERRY and his GOATS are awesome! and furthermore, this delegate thinks that GEORGE (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) is sooooooo cute! and of course who can forget the rest of sc??? SECURITY COUNCIL ROCKED iMUN @AC 09. full stop, end of story. dont forget to join the sc grp on fb!

sc LOVES cold rock!

2009-06-15T20:40:00.003+08:00

i never wanted to leave,

the joy and love was just too much.

ive that feeling again, that sense that my life is, has changed. this camp, was certainly the best camp in my entire life. even as i write this now, im crying, sobbing even. im listening to the song when God ran.

it is by far the most emotional song ive ever heard. when i heard it, i just cried and cried. i dont want to even be here in my room, i want to be back in camp, surprisingly. ive made so many new friends, so many old friends. its never really going to be the same, is it. so many new insights have dawned on me. forgiveness, love, community, it all makes sense now. i know many people arent going to open up about their experiences, but i shall. i was really struggling with everything, crappy relationships, that kind of thing. i went to the basement to pray, and i played the piano there. i played a few songs, including reflections. then i opened up breaking bread to a random song, and i saw it was be not afraid. later on, i wrote a letter to God, asking for a sign. the next thing i knew, mass happened and the song played was be not afraid. i was so amazed, and even more so when michelle played reflections for us. when parents night came, it was just truly wonderful. to see so many parents, supporting their child. everyone cried when we read letters written from our parents. i can safely say that everyone was truly touched when it happened. but now the camp is over, everyone doesnt want to leave. but we're going to make this work, were goign to keep the spirit alive.

he ran to me, took me in his arms.

he held my head to his chest and said,

"my sons come home again."

lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes.

with forgiveness in his voice, he said

"son, do you know i still love you?"

he caught me by surprise, when God ran.

2009-06-11T16:02:00.002+08:00

today i went to pulau semakau with my dearest rachel, along with other dears from 3a3 and a1. its crazy cos we were in sch at 430. am. omg, were crazy. but anyway, rachel and i listened to my ipod in the bus. we looked like idiots singing the long note in one song. haha. on the whole, it was awesome, the guides were awesome. and on the way home, i fell asleep on rachel's shoulder!

2009-06-10T15:09:00.003+08:00

Roxanne, you dont have to put on that red light

Walk the streets for money

You dont care if its wrong or if it is right.

Roxanne, you dont have to wear that dress tonight.
Roxanne, you dont have to sell your body to the night.

Yo que te quiero tanto, que voy a hacer?
Me dejaste...me dejaste como una paloma
El alma se me fue; se me fue el corazon
Ya no tengo ganas de vivir porque no te puedo convencer
Que no te vendas, Roxanne

vanity markings,

2009-06-09T14:56:00.006+08:00

yesterday i went out with dumont, to bugis street. i bought three shirts and a pretty red dress. plus, we got tattoos (omg damn pain) and did our hair. the tattoo guy is really nice, though i think he was flirting with us. whatev. his cousin is ah-dorable. we also went to illuma, and had fat free yoghyrt. it was fuckgin nice. better than frolick by a mile.

2009-06-04T14:26:00.002+08:00

i swear, what you are about to see is the best dance instructional video in the world. do rmb to comment and leave a quick msg saying: ALISON IS THE BEST DANCER IN THE WORLD.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/video/video.php?v=93525858864&comments

oh and btw, i am :DDDDD

2009-06-01T22:14:00.000+08:00

Name: alison-marie

Date: 6/1/2009

Colorgenics Number: 37041265

You feel as if you have missed out on a great deal that life had to offer and you go about trying to make up for past failures. Naturally at times you get depressed and you try to compensate for your 'missed opportunities' by living your life to the full. This is what, perhaps, may be described as 'living with exaggerated intensity'. In this way you feel you can break the chains of the past and start again - and it could be that you are right.

All of your dreams and hopes have not materialised and consequently you are unsure of which way to go. This uncertainty has led to considerable stress but you have sufficient 'strength of mind' to overcome this state of affairs although it will take some time.

It is amazing that you yourself believe that old 'adage' that you are a misunderstood person - and you feel that because of this you are being left out in the cold. It is because of this lack of believed understanding that you feel the need to conform to society in general - but this situation leaves you 'cold' knowing that you are not appreciated for your true self. Any relationship that you are developing at this time does not seem to involve any true emotional commitment, you seem to be just playing along.

For whatever the reason, you find it extremely difficult to sustain relationships - that is to sustain them in the manner that you would wish. You are a very gentle sort of person, full of feeling, sensitivity and susceptible to love and affection, looking and longing for a partner with whom you can enjoy 'All things bright and beautiful' - someone with whom you can seek out the more esoteric things of life. But up to now this person has only existed in your imagination. You are very choosy, appreciative, refined and extremely artistic in temperament and it is your hope to seek others who will allow you to form and express your own taste and judgement and who at the same time may assist you in your intellectual or artistic growth.

You really would like to be completely uninhibited - to let your hair down - but you are held back by your sense of logic and rationalilty, since you realise that by simple stupidity you could lose everything - whatever that may be.

shit this is fucking accurate.

tres magnifique

2009-06-01T21:56:00.002+08:00

i did something ive always wanted to do today. and maybe, just maybe, you'll give me more than enough reason to do it again.

I LOVE SHOPPING WITH MY MOM.

2009-05-31T18:32:00.003+08:00

omgk, i love the great singapore sale. today alone i bought a pretty blue dress and another white and black dress from topshop, plus new jeans from levis. a pair of shoes from kate spade (i love ks) and my sis bought four pairs of shoes from geox. plus, i was super close to getting stuff from river island, and like aldo. DANG IT. but it was fun, another shopping trip scheduled for like next monday, INCLUSIVE of manipedi with my mom. omg i heart my mom. like very very, although she like laughed at me today. and she took me shopping for bras. MY GOD I WAS MORTIFIED. like the lady was like touching me!!! omg, bad experience. and there was this old lady, probably a septogenarian, shopping for lingerie. omg bad image. and guess what, i wore my granpa's shirt by mistake tday, wtfh.

testosterone boys and harlequin girls.

2009-05-29T18:30:00.003+08:00

argh, i am mega tired. just came home from watching night at the museum 2. not bad, saw joy and danielle at ps. why is it that whenever i get on myspace shane is on? i cant figure. recently ive taken a liking to reliant k, coldplay, snowpatrol, muse and switchfoot. top songs: reliant k - pink tux to the prom, switchfoot - awakening, i dare you to move, this is home, only hope, meant to live, live for you, and so on and so forth. i love supermassiveblackhole, muse. god, love it. switchfoot is srsly one of the best bands in the world. love it. although i have a throbbing headache the size of texas, it makes me feel calm, at least for the three minutes its playing.

gah i am so not looking foward to my 'meeting' on monday.

i love vina.

2009-05-27T20:23:00.004+08:00

blogger picture uploader sucks big time. the whole thing is whack. lately, the rapunzels and i have been trying to find some dance classes. it seems that like no where is cool enough. if you catch my drift. vina, guns and joy came over tday. it was just supposed to be an intensive study thing with vina, but somehow we ended watching youtube (figures) and eating. bleah. i hate it. im going to put back on all the weight ive lost. disgusting. after guns and joy went home, vina and i camwhored like with my webcam. and it was hilarious, cos we did some ghost effect thing, which freaked us both out. so im not posting it. but anyhoo, we were fooling around, and suddenly i started to comb out my bangs, and i realised they are rather long now. hopefully by camp it wont be as bad. im really looking foward to imun, but its still a touchy subject, and we have NO IDEA if adeline ong really faxed it out, but hopefully walter gets the email she says she will send (any bets he wont?). still got to write my essay for her, about olympic spirit and all. why did i volunteer again? nope, cant think of any reasons. extra credit maybe? or maybe cos it seemed fun at the time. it doesnt really matter now does it? im writing it now, listening to the soundtrack of nightmare before halloween, and ive got to say, this is rather scary. it truly is, im getting chills. and writing the essay isnt making me any happier. i wish dos was on, id be so into it, i wouldnt even mind writing the essay. sigh, oh well, life goes on. and the song is still scary. eerie scary. OH GOODY, the song changed. now its coffee and cigarettes. hmm, step up. which reminds me, today, i got vina to fall in love with shane. and yes i agree, his eyes are indeed gorgeous, but i call dibs.

2009-05-23T19:25:00.003+08:00

wow, one of the best days of my life. i got a whole GIANT step toward shane. im ECSTATIC! i literally screamed when it happened, and i called baba, and clara, and alvina and told rachel and eunice! SHAAAAAAAANE. i had a dream about him last night, and it was an awesome dream. but enough of that, tomorrow is canteen duty ): i dont really want to go for it. and worse still, its like shifted by classes. ugh.

whatever, shane is still the best, and our lives will be perfect.

KRIS / CHRIS FTW.

2009-05-21T20:52:00.004+08:00

today was a mixed feeling day. i was sad cos i falied bio, chem, and a math. plus i only got an A2 for english. i feel so pissed off. of course i was elated i passed chinese, for once. but everything was fine, in the end.

today, i had a heart to heart talk with eunice, alvina, crystal and sarah. we came to draw the same conclusions about certain people in our lives, as well as define the meaning of hate and fake (: i felt that the talk opened up new insights into my life, and i met new people whom share the same views as me, which im always more than happy to accept.

my internet isnt working that well, and i cant use frostwire, which always sucks. itunes isnt working too. wth. cip sucked today, kanasai my ass. and imun is finally confirmed. i just hope it gets mailed out on time. you know how she is.

KRIS ALLEN FTW, oh and also chris. WHATEVER, homo.

2009-05-15T17:37:00.002+08:00

today was a bloody fucking day. literally.

johanna

2009-05-14T17:34:00.008+08:00

I feel you, Johanna,

I feel you.

I was half convinced I'd waken,

Satisfied enough to dream you.

Happily I was mistaken, Johanna.

I'll steal you, Johanna,

I'll steal you.

I'll steal you, Johanna,

I'll steal you.
Do they think that walls could hide you?

Even now, I'm at your window.

I am in the dark beside you,

Buried sweetly in your yellow hair.

I feel you, Johanna,

And one day I'll steal you!

Til I'm with you then,

I'm with you there,

Sweetly buried in your yellow hair!

thats such a sad song, but i cant help listening to it. my minds been muddled of late, but i think ive got it all sorted out now. i watched sweeney todd yesterday night, and i sat there thinking, man, i want revenge too. but not in a cannibalistic way though. when this song played, my heart just crashed and burned. anthony was so, in love. i couldnt help but give him my heart. my heart, wasnt that bright when i gave it to him. yesterday, it broke into a million pieces. i guess you dont save me a seat in your own heart. today, i was called irresponsible, but was i to blame? geared and ready to go, i couldnt, restricted, by you, or lack there of. i wish you would see what its like, and you want to know who inspired what youre reading right now. i cant say. now, my feelings intensifies with every time i listen to that song. jcb is so nice, i feel like giving him a big hug. i feel like i can tell him anything in the world, and he'll listen. i dont know about anyone else, but the weather the past few days has been rather gray. and i dont know if its going to get better sir. the saying goes, the past is history, tomorrow is a mystery. but now is a gift, thats why its called the present. if i put past my past, the only thing left is to embrace my time, and hope for a better tomorrow.

2009-05-12T09:45:00.003+08:00

ok, so i am sad. like tday, i dont know what happened, but suddenly i feel disconnected with the world. not with the WORLD technically, but just some people i felt were drifting away. but i guess thats just how friends are meant to be. fairweathered ones at the most. the lucky ones get friends for life, but on the average, real friends are like reeeeally rare. someone once told me, you accept your friends, but i dont know what to think now. i would say i hate school, but then id be digressing. so watchamacallit, im going to keep pretending that i dont care, but you know, deep inside, i do.

greyscaled

2009-05-09T13:09:00.007+08:00

i've tried to do so many thing, maybe too many. i want to step out, just feel the rain on my bare shoulders. self-conciousness has been made a hinderance. is my emotion that blurred? that even when you look straight at me, you cant tell what im feeling? friends, best friends. enemies, frenemies. smiling daggers, edged with curteous memories. is this all weve come to? i suppose, greyscale, emotionless dreams. forgotten plans of yore. but digressing to myself, i realise that it doesnt really matter, so ill put on a strong front. even if you reconcile, im not sure i would, considering all shes done to me. i respect your ways, your judgement. just dont impose them on me.

change blows.

2009-05-08T20:28:00.006+08:00

seeing as my life has changed significantly in the past few weeks, i decided to change a few things. you know, its the start of something new, and all that. i dont really know how i feel at this point in time. alot of changes are taking place, and im not sure i know how to deal with them. friendship once going strong, now tearing at the seams. original plans of how we'd spend the rest of our lives tgt, seems like a distant memory. just a memory, nothing more. my bucket list hasnt grown any shorter, if not longer. and i wonder if ill really be able to die saying, yeah i lived a great fulfilling life at the end of the day. tears are rather common, and most of the time, theyre falling over change. today, i read something, and i realised, no matter how close we are or get, shes always going to be there, hes always going to be there, and we just dont agree on them. you may like them, i may not. this, overtime, had built a wedge, that drove into the cracks of our relationship. i really dont know what to do. the song playing now is 'pokerface', and somehow, its apt for my life. people always have something to hide, whether from me, or with me. and i cannot take this double life any longer. im going through an apoplectic state, not knowing which path to take at the forked road. and i dont know if youre going to be the one i travel with.